…in need of help..
yes it is true, I am probably in need of help..not emotional, not physical, not spiritual, not social….so yea, its a bit mental..
I know for a fact that I am showing some signs and symptoms of Obsessive-compulsive disorder. I don’t know how it started but I know that I didn’t have it back when I was in grade school. Anyway, it just got worse lately…Just the simple sight of disorganization around me drives me insane…of course other than I can’t help but clean it up or fix it, I’d get mad at whoever I know is responsible for the mess.. (one example is a few minutes ago, when I got home from chorale practice and I was really tired and pissed off because of matters I can’t talk about regarding some requirements and..others, then I still get to see the same stuff scattered around the house as I left it while my brother is watching tv and doing nothing about it *I’m telling you, it’s like WWII in action*) I just get so mad and hyperactive and I start doing everything on my own *with some whining and yellin and screamin*. My brother actually called me crazy for acting that way. I’m sorry but I can’t help it…I hate to say this but I think I need a shrink.
A theory is that my norepinephrine neurotransmitters are going haywire in my nervous system and keeps on triggering my SNS to make me do these stuff..Arrrggghhh..Calming myself is a lot of work especially when I don’t have anything, no meds, no nothing, to ensue it. You know the feeling of wanting something and you cant stop but do it no matter what…that’s OCD. And I definitely have it..I can’t believe that I’m a clean freak.:’( Of all the OCDs that could possibly land on me, why does it have to be about cleanliness???..One, is that it is really tiring..second, its really high maintenance, especially if you’re living in a house where they have it as the last priority. I need some help…
